A Thought on Forgiving the Unforgiveable
My final blog on forgiveness. This is a tough one. Forgiving the unthinkable, the painful, the unforgiveable. How can I do this? Not an easy task that is for sure. I have had a few instances in my life where I have felt “victimized” . It isn’t a great place to stay, being a victim, lamenting what should have or could have been. I truly was a victim as was my family and mostly my Granddaughter who died as a result of another person’s actions. We could have chosen to stay victims for the rest of our lives, Eden’s death could have been one big reason to never move forward, never care about others, never trust the universe or God again. We did choose to move forward and out of victimhood, each in our own time and on our own terms. But, choosing to not be a victim is different than forgiving the perpetrator that allowed you to become a victim in the first place.
The only way that I have been able to find a space of forgiveness for the individuals responsible for Eden’s untimely death is with very deep thought. To begin with I have to move away from the pain of loss and grief and into my space of Spirit. My Spirit knows that I will see Eden again, I know that her Spirit is alive and well. Therefore, if I truly believe this, she is not dead. Only her physical body is. I cannot always stay in this space, but I can get there.
Another truth that I believe is that we choose to be incarnated. I believe in reincarnation and I believe we choose our lessons before we are born into this plane again. Therefore, if I truly believe this, that I chose this life and these lessons in order for my spirit to grow, then someone must have agreed to be the “Judas” of this event. Someone had to be the evil perpetrator of my pain and subsequent growth. I had to have agreed to this….crazy, I know…but if I believe what I say, then this must be true to me.
So here is where I get to the “forgiveness” part. I chose to learn and grow in this incarnation before I was born. My Granddaughter’s Spirit is alive and well, no one has killed her Spirit. The big question is can I forgive the individuals responsible for the pain that I feel? I have total control of whom and when I choose to forgive. Knowing these things allows me to find a space of forgiveness. Again, I am not always capable of elevating my thoughts to reach this level of forgiveness, but I can, when I choose, get there. It is a better place to be emotionally, and spiritually when I choose to believe and feel from this perspective.
I am sure you have noticed this is a stepped process for me. I would like to challenge any of you who are dealing with an issue that you find hard to forgive to try this.
- Choose to no longer be a victim
- Ask yourself…Is your Spirit or the Spirit of another person truly harmed or is it your/their physical body that has been harmed?
- Consider that maybe you chose this lesson and the subsequent pain, so that you might grow as a Spirit
- Allow yourself for even a moment to weigh in on that someone had to assist in learning this lesson, no matter how heinous the act.
- Try to find a space for forgiveness.
Please keep in mind that this process does not absolve anyone of there acts while in this plane. We are “physically” here and now. You can choose to forgive. This does not infer or mean that what happened to you or someone you love is absolved and forgotten. It does however allow you to put it where it belongs, in your past. I have a saying and it goes like this…
Complete your past so that it is not in your present.
When we never resolve past hurts and anger it stays in the forefront of our minds always there just a thought away. We keep this pain and anger in our present when we do not seek to find a space where it can become our past. Our past is never forgotten, it is just simply our past, not our present and not our future.